Things they never tell you....

As I am pretty well officially middle aged (although I will never admit it), I am starting into what many people will call:

The Change
Mental Pause
The "M" Word
The Big M

The list could go on and on.

So as somebody who is in the peri-menopause phase, I've been having a hell of a time with....what was I talking about again? Oh yes....forgetfulness. I walk into a room and can't remember why I walked in. In the middle of a sentence I forget what I was talking about. I give up.

Sleeplessness. I can't remember the last time I had a really good sleep. Oh wait, I think it was when I was under general anesthetic.

Hot flashes. Those moments when you are completely comfortable, and then a minute later I'm stripping down to practically nothing because I'm sweating so badly. During the polar vortexes last winter, my husband came home and found me standing on the front porch in shorts and T-shirt trying to cool off. And it's only gotten worse. Reminded me of a commercial that used to be on TV years ago for Shoppers Drug Mart. You see the back of a house during a blizzard. Woman walks outside in shorts, T-shirt and boots to take the cover off the air conditioner. I thought it was an exaggeration....it's not! I've been starting to refer to them as short tropical stay-cations.

So as we all have to go through with this, we really have to see some of the humour in it. I thought these jokes were quite cute:

What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?

Lipstick

What's 10 times worse than a woman in menopause?

Two women in menopause.

Which is scarier, a puppy or a rational woman in menopause?

A puppy, because a rational woman in menopause doesn't really exist.

What's the best way for a husband to predict the mood of his menopausal wife?

Assume her mood is lousy, and occassionaly he'll be wrong.

"borrowed" those from another website. So I can't take any credit for them.
As if puberty, periods, pregnancy and delivery weren't enough. I think Mother Nature is truly a man.....if she were really a woman she would have known that we've had ENOUGH!

Keep cool all!

Goodbye Is So Final

I lost my aunt today. She was more like a big sister to me, as she was only 12 years older. Cancer. What a bugger of a disease. But she fought like hell right up to the end.

Sasha was fabulous! I used to go and spend weekends with her when I was growing up. Especially during those dreadful teenage years when I couldn't stand my Mom. She had this great place downtown, and we would do things that I always thought were so cool!

When I was 13, Sasha took me to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was completely freaked out. Going to see a movie where everybody got dressed up, and shouted all the lines to the movie; through confetti and toast...and what was that funny smell? Didn't smell like normal cigarettes to me! I went back to my middle class life in the suburbs and told all my friends about this movie....none of them believed me!

Sasha loved cooking. She introduced me to some really exotic foods. Some were really good, but the one that sticks out most is my first experience with bouillabaisse. It had to be the worst thing I had ever tasted! To this day, just the thought of having a bowl turns my stomach, although I'm sure it's very tasty!

And the music! While my parents listened to Roger Whitaker and Nana Mouskouri....Sasha introduced me to great bands like ELO!

In recent years she was a rock for my Mom when my Dad died. And when there were problems with other family members. She was a level head when I couldn't see straight.

Sasha, I love you and I will miss you.

How Did I Get Here?

I think I used to be fabulous. Seriously. I did things that people find envious.

After dropping out of university after 2nd year (really wasn't for me), I moved west and lived in a beautiful ski resort town and worked at a grand hotel.

After a couple of years there, I hit the road and started backpacking around Australia. I worked when I needed to, spent most of my time at the beach working on a tan, and lets face it....I partied. I worked in the middle of the dessert, and worked at Expo. I created life long friends, and so many happy memories.

Then I came home. Why? I keep asking myself this question. Truthfully, I was kind of lost. Sick of living out of a backpack, missing my family and needing to set some roots somewhere. I couldn't extend my visa anymore, and I couldn't afford to apply for residency. I figured I would come home for a couple of years, make some money and go back. I've been home for 27 years now.

Fast forward....

I've now been married for 20 years. I run a manufacturing company. I am a mother to a 19 year old. I am peri-menopausal. I am on the edge of turning 29 for the 21st time. Sorry....still can't say that age. I am wondering how I got here.

These will be my tales from the edge of middle age.