I have battled my weight since I was 12 years old. I have never been a small person, but have strived to get that way all my adult life. Seriously I remember like it was yesterday the first diet that I ever went on. It was called the sunshine diet. I remember having to eat an orange with lunch and dinner every day. I guess the theory behind it is the fibre from the orange would fill you up, therefore you would eat less. I didn't touch oranges after that for more than 10 years. I have tried everything from pills and potions to hypnotherapy. Nothing has been able to stop me from eating....let alone me.\
Sugar is my demon. It is the proverbial monkey on my back. I love all things sweet. Cakes, cookies, pies, chocolates. You name it and I love it. And once I start eating it I can't stop. It becomes a complete obsession! Seriously, I can't stop once I start. Until it's all gone. I really hate those skinny bitches that will eat one or two cookies and complain about how full they are, and how they've been so naughty they feel guilty. WTF? What do they need to feel guilty about? I don't just eat 1 or two cookies, I eat an entire sleeve. Or I just keep eating until I'm either so full that I want to explode, or they're all gone. Just to be clear, I am NOT bragging about this. This is a real problem that I have, and I am very ashamed of it. Which is also why I end up doing all the binging in private. No need for hubby to see how much I can put away.
Now on the flip side, I actually really like exercising. It helps me with my stress levels. I hate going to the gym, but I love the way I feel when I leave. I love heading out on my bike in the summertime for a long 30km ride. Playing golf and walking the course. A great day on the slopes skiing. Don't get me wrong, I can be a couch potato as much as the next person. And let's face it, if I'm going to work out, it has to be in the morning. By the time I'm finished work I am far too tired.
But like they say, it's the 80/20 rule. 80% of what you put into yourself and 20% of what you do. I've got the 20% down pat.....the 80% is what I have the problem with.
It also doesn't help that I quit smoking 4 months ago. And have steadily put on 5 lbs per month since. And I really miss smoking. Hated the way it made me feel when I smoked too much. But if they came out with a research study saying that it was actually good for you, I would probably take it up again.
So, I was wasting some time online (like I always do when I'm bored), and there was an article about this woman who lost 75 lbs and kept it off. Of course the hook to get you to read the article was that she did this 1 thing before every meal. Well, why couldn't they just say that in the title? Save me the freaking time of having to scroll through the article? Anyways, her "1" thing was writing down her "why". Why she was doing it. Why she wanted the results etc. She wrote them down almost like an affirmation, and read them before every meal and workout and when she needed some extra motivation because she was feeling down. Her "why" could have been something like fitting into a bikini for a vacation, or needing more energy to run after her kids.
It's not a bad idea. I've never really been one to do the affirmations, or have a vision board. But maybe I can do this to start?
How much more weight do I want to lose? 50 lbs. Why do I want to lose it? I don't want my body to ache anymore. I want to feel sexy. I want to fit into smaller clothes. I want to look good in a bathing suit when I am going to Jamaica in March!
For now, those are my why's.
